If you don’t love espresso more than life itself, you can go ahead and leave this post. I recommend going to watch this Google Assistant ad mashed up with the Blade Runner 2049 trailer audio; it’s a better use of your time.

Okay, I think they’re gone.

Hello, espresso lovers. Today, I bring you a $1200 refurbished Breville espresso machine. That sounds ridiculous, but it costs $2000 new, and this deal is only available today. Just let me know if you bought one, and I’ll come over for an affogato.